Posted by: The Simple Guy | July 14, 2011

Life is sweeter

My friend Jim and I got our first chance to talk today since it happened.

3 or 4 months ago Jim’s wife was having trouble breathing.  They struggled through the course of a month or so of repeated Dr visits in an effort to find out what was wrong.  Probably an infection, so they gave her antibiotics.  That didn’t work, so it must be asthma, try these treatments. . . Still having problems?  More testing . . .

About 6 weeks ago, the crushing news came, lung cancer.  Extremely aggressive in nature.

Jim took leave from work and stayed home with her to provide full-time care and spend their last fleeting moments together.

Two weeks ago today she won her final battle.

Jim came back to work yesterday, and I saw him, but today we finally had the time to talk.

I asked how I could help.  He said that unless I have lost a wife of 41 years to cancer, I probably couldn’t help.  Most people don’t understand.  I said I was willing to listen.  He talked for 10 minutes, and I listened.

As she breathed her last, he turned on some music on his iPod, music he had not had the chance to listen to yet.  He had it on random, and had no idea what was coming next.  As she passed, this song was on.

Lyrics:
My heart is giving up
All my plans are broken
Your face is all I see
Though my world is falling
As I watch you head into the sun
I never thought it was my one
Chance to say goodbye
I never want to say goodbye

Life is sweeter, sweeter
On the other side, on the other side
I will see you, see you
On the other side, on the other side
I’ll find the stars to light me through
I’ll find a way to get to you
Life is sweeter on the other side of here

So far from where you are
But I feel you with me
You’re in the place where I belong
Where my life is waiting
As I watch the rising of the sun
I pray that I could have just one
Chance to say goodnight
I never want to say goodbye

Life is sweeter, sweeter
On the other side, on the other side
I will see you, see you
On the other side, on the other side
I’ll find the stars to light me through
I’ll find a way to get to you
Life is sweeter on the other side of here

Everyday I get a little bit closer
To reaching you
But I can’t wait, till I’m with you forever
Everyday I get a little bit closer
To reaching you
But I can’t wait till I hold you forever

Life is sweeter, sweeter
On the other side, on the other side
I will see you, see you
On the other side, on the other side
I’ll find the stars to light me through
I’ll find a way to get to you
Life is sweeter on the other side of here
On the other side of here

He played it for me on his phone, and we cried together.

He thanked me and told me I had helped after all.

Please pray for my friend.  His wife is now with her eternal groom.  We each thanked God for the opportunity we have as husbands to have a bride for a short time, and then present her to the eternal Lover of her soul.

Please pray for Jim, that God will be close to him in ways we cannot.

Monday would have been her birthday.  He is going to spread her ashes on that day.  Pray for him especially then. . .

Craig

Psa 116:15-19 ESV
(15) Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.
(16) O LORD, I am your servant; I am your servant, the son of your maidservant. You have loosed my bonds.
(17) I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the LORD.
(18) I will pay my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people,
(19) in the courts of the house of the LORD, in your midst, O Jerusalem. Praise the LORD!

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Responses

  1. I’m glad you and your friend got a chance to talk. Being a good listener is so important….(I’m still working on it! :/ )

    Love you.

  2. Yes, Listening is hard. Was thinking of Glen’s post on “how are you?” and how we ask when we don’t mean it, and then offer trite solutions. . .
    And yet being a good listener means responding enough that the other person can tell you are listening, and asking the questions that draw them out. . .
    I didn’t know Jim was struggling a couple of months ago, and was kind of hard on him at work. Now I know why. Makes me want to remember next time things don’t make sense with someone. I need to ask what else is going on, and I need to pray for them. . .

    Craig


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